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Top Banana (Read 1028 times)
CJ
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Top Banana
21.12.08 at 04:18:16
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What can I say about this beloved game?

I booted it up last night and it brought a smile to my face... followed by an uncontrolled belly laugh and a round of ROFLs.

The intro is... well... unique.  Acid House!  Done bits-club style!  Only worse!  The music is clear tho.. suprisingly clear for a sample....

Pressing FIRE we move on to the title screen.

And you thought The Gopping Megademo had the worst font ever. This thing is eye-bendingly ugly - and yet it was obviously designed.... by a drunk monkey?  Anyway... it says PRESS FIRE TO PLAY so I bravely hit the button awaiting it to fire a synaptic response from 20 years ago.

"OMG it's crashed!" is the first thing to hit your cortex.  Quickly followed by "OK, I'm colourblind, but even so what the hell is this?" (Yes, folks, I'm colourblind!)

Two layers of graphics, paralaxed over each other - with possibly the worse pallette selection since Sir Clive Sinclair thought "I know, lets make a computer that melts if left on the window"

With trepidation, I pushed jump.

What can only be described as a wet fart noise excapes the speakers. I cry with laughter and jump some more.

Then I die and it's game over. The RESET button is calling me so I push it.

I give Top Banana 11/10 - it's simply that bad it has to be played.
  

"With only one button, even drooling fucktards like Kizza can play our game!"
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ggn
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Re: Top Banana
Reply #1 - 21.12.08 at 09:19:50
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What a great review! But it wouldn't be complete without:

Some game screenshots:


Oooh, that looks top notch, doesn't it?


a box scan:


Reminds you of something?


And the obligatory wankopedia link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Top_Banana_(video_game)


All in all, well done CJ for this amazing review!
« Last Edit: 21.12.08 at 09:38:48 by ggn »  
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Re: Top Banana
Reply #2 - 22.12.08 at 00:36:45
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haha!  Now I really want the CDTV version mentioned in that wikipedia entry with samples of Biz Markie!
  

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Re: Top Banana
Reply #3 - 22.12.09 at 11:57:07
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Errr - after reading that wiki page for a second time I've just realised that Matt Black from Coldcut was involved in this game!

In fact, the coders behind Top Banana went on to code VJamm - the VJ software pioneered by Coldcut and Hexstatic...

Insane.
  

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Re: Top Banana
Reply #4 - 22.12.09 at 12:05:18
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Haha - in case anyone wants the official 12" single that came out at the same time as the game:

http://www.discogs.com/KT-3--Hex-Global-Chaos/master/169993

There's a copy listed for 0.80! Shall I get it for your xmas present CJ? Cheesy
  

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ggn
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Re: Top Banana
Reply #5 - 22.12.09 at 12:55:05
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Bwahahaha, let's make an extended hard drive version of the intro Smiley
  
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Re: Top Banana
Reply #6 - 17.08.10 at 19:09:21
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I get the awful feeling there was a kind of sequel to this too. Maybe it didn't come out on ST. But I'm sure it was called "Paparatzzi" (Or however that's spelt.)
  
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